So Bertie brought the IMF, now he’s in the IFF. Because trees don’t follow the markets, ya see.

So Bertie brought the IMF, now he’s in the IFF. Because trees don’t follow the markets, ya see.
by Kevin Tuohy on Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 2:52pm

Our Recently Departed and Greatly Misunderstood Former Leader, Bertie Ahern, is now the Chairman of a private investment fund The International Forestry Fund, registered in the British Virgin Isles. They buy forestry, and have been linked with possible privatisation (i.e. selling off) of COILLTE. Makes sense – trees don’t read the papers, don’t get ‘crises of confidence’, and the longer you leave them, the more valuable they get.

Some extracts from their website:  when you visit the site, it will pop up an acceptance window asking you to agree or disagree with its website policy before entering the site. Scroll down and ignore it

Press Release Helvetia Wealth AG, November 26, 2009

Dublin / Zurich: The International Forestry Fund – a joint venture of the I.F.S. Asset Managers Ltd and Helvetia Wealth AG of Switzerland – today announced that the former Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern will become Chairman of the fund as of January 1, 2010.


The International Forestry Fund is a global forestry fund which acquires land for plantation forestry and also acquires existing forests which it manages in a socially responsible manner to achieve a target growth rate of between 7% to 10% per annum.

Why Invest in Forestry?

  • Global demand for timber continues to grow faster than supply can meet. And much of the world’s current timber supply comes from unsustainable sources such as South American Rainforests and tropical rainforests in South East Asia
  • Forestry has a low correlation to equity markets and bonds especially when it is unleveraged
  • Timber volume from cultivated plantations will need to increase to meet growing global demand for this completely renewable and basic raw material required throughout the world in a huge variety of industries from construction to energy, fencing to packaging, bio-fuel to furniture
  • Plantation forests greatly reduce pressure on natural rainforests and protect millions of acres of previously threatened rainforest thus helping to reduce the effects of global warming
  • Forests are also a major store of carbon as they sequester Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere, thus mitigating global warming and the effects of climate change
  • Forestry investment provides stability and is largely immune to stock markets as well as providing an excellent hedge against inflation. As trees grow their timber volume and, therefore, value increases
  • Trees grow at a highly predictable rate irrespective of economic conditions



And in the page for “Key People”:

Mr. Bertie Ahern has been appointed Chairman of The International Forestry Fund. Bertie Ahern is the first person since 1944 to be elected prime minister of Ireland on three successive occasions.  Mr. Ahern implemented bold economic initiatives that included corporate tax incentives and education reform. His efforts laid out a welcome mat for international corporations, making Ireland an attractive location for foreign companies which drove job creation for over a decade. Known as a dedicated negotiator focused on the end result, Mr. Ahern brought divergent parties together in Ireland urging them to set aside centuries of conflict to create lasting peace.

Registered Offices:

Maples Corporate Services (BVI) Limited,
Kingston Chambers,
PO Box 173,
Road Town,
British Virgin Islands


WARNING – Ireland is turning its back on America

WARNING - Ireland turning its back on America

WARNING – New satellite surveillance of Ireland has revealed a disturbing development which has gone unnoticed until now. The entire country seems to have become inverted, effectively turning its back on the entire Atlantic Ocean.

Kevin Tuohy, of public representation group WHY? had this to say when we contact him earlier today: “How has this affected the airline and shipping industries, and why have we not heard about it until now? It is shocking to think that a significant minority of trades have been fully aware of this situation for some time, but apparently have chosen to give themselves the opportunity to adapt to this situation before alerting the general public. It further adds to the alienation felt by the general population of this island, and to their growing disenchantment with politics, business, finance, the economy, climate change, and the world of Art & Culture.”

Politicians are scrambling to be the first to offer solutions to this situation. The Minister for Defence has suggested the Navy could simply tow the country back around, in a clockwise direction. Minister for Local Government replied that the problem is “Horizontal Inversion, not Rotation” – a cutting jibe indeed.

This phenomenon of National Horizontal Inversion has not been reported before in the entire History of the World, but the Taoiseach was in confident mood, proclaiming “We are the first to get it, and we will be the first to get out of it.”

Meanwhile, traffic chaos has gripped the country, as motorists suddenly realised that all the road signage and markings are also inverted, making them illegible – a fact that had gone unnoticed until yesterday. Residents of “naegniaD nA” were particularly incensed, having undergone a traumatic name change from ‘Dingle’ to ‘An Daingean’ only so recently. “We wont accept this” said local residents committee representative Anna Dood.

More on this unfolding story…

±Plus/Minus – February 08, Oland, Sweden

±Plus/Minus was a residency project organised by SKART Artist Collaboration, where 9 artists were invited to make work in the village of Sattra on the island Oland off the east coast of southern Sweden for 10 days in February 08. Below is documentation of the work I made during this project, and some photographic work.

Recent work – photographs

PERMANENTS – White chalk on blackboard paint on brown card on wooden frame (parts of which were originally a mobile Camera Obscura)

6ft x 4ft x 1.5ft

Seen here outside my studio, overlooking the Cork City Docklands.